Skip to main content

Say what?

At first it seemed like a tragedy. A life threatening tragedy. That is what change constitutes doesn't it though?
And so I looked at it from a different angle. It is what you want to make it to be.
I've been wondering why life's passing so fast. These past two years have passed in haste. Too fast, too hazy for me to remember anything that's been worthwhile. Days pass, and this emptiness just keeps on building. There's nothing to do. In fact, there's no inspiration to do. There are several things on my mind, but nothing here. Nothing ever.
It's when you lose things that you realize it's value.
It's also only when you lose things that you learn to live without them.
I've been collecting my personal pictures for the past five years. 2000 of them. And I lost them yesterday. This weekend has been so life changing. I know now what to do. I totally mind-blogged in the bathroom an hour ago. But now somehow the whole flow is gone.
But heck, that's not important. I'm blogging to make a statement now. For everyone to see.
I'm done.
I need to get my ass off this computer, deactivate the stupid blood-sucking time-wasting Facebook account, and move on.
Remember how life used to be without it.
It may seem a petty thing to do but Facebook has been a part of my life. It's the petty things you must discard so as to start afresh. And so this is important for me. To let go of these bad habits and finally make time to do the things I've been yapping and cribbing about doing since I don't know when.
You can't wait for things to happen to you. There's nothing like destiny. I'm so sick and tired of wasting my time and life online. I really need to buck up and DO something. Find my true calling finally. I never thought I'd be so aimless and helpless when I was younger. I had dreams of me being really into life, and dreams of me somewhere that's not here. I'm turning eighteen soon. I need to know what it is I want from this life and figure who I am and stuff.
I am so done. So done.
Vent-typing feels good :)

OKAY. So the Game Plan for now.
  1. Start Reading Again, Full-On.
  2. Study Hard For These Exams.
  3. Do The Chai-Time In The Paper EVERY Day. Apart From Reading The Paper Of Course.
  4. Restart Spanish And Continue Sign Language Learning.
  5. Become A Better Daughter.
  6. Write More.
  7. Experience Again Life In All It's Minuscule Details.
Good Day :)

(Don't you just love it when you happen to make big life changes on the first of a month? :D)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Quotes

For people who believe strongly in the illusiveness of life, to doubt would be more correct than to bear full conviction about anything at all. But then again that questions their primary belief in illusions. - Aditi A world without faith in a higher power or a god is a better world where we can be responsible for our own actions; where we can be kind to one another because we want to and because it is the right thing to do instead of being frightened into behaving by the threat of divine punishment. Many events may have defied your ability to explain, events that seem like miracles, but if you are convinced that you failed to understand them because you're still woefully ignorant about the universe and the learning will never stop, then, you cannot and will not believe that a deity altered the workings of nature. Don't ignore reality in order to comfort yourself, for once you do, you make it easy for others to deceive you. Understanding breeds empathy. We do not writ...
46 comments
Read more

ChAI

I used AI to make my chai this morning.   Why? Because I wanted to see if I’d still get that dopamine hit from something I didn’t even make.   I wanted to know if, by outsourcing an experience whose only purpose was my own consumption, it would take away from it.   By removing the act of boiling water, steeping tea—by only keeping the intent to make it—would I still feel the satisfaction when I took the first sip?   I read somewhere that you should aim to do hard things. That when you push yourself, when you fight resistance, and break through the boundaries of what you thought you could do, the dopamine hit is bigger.   But what happens when everything can be done by AI?   What happens when AI whispers, "I got you," and we stop doing anything at all?   The dopamine hit then wouldn’t come from the effort, but from the discovery that AI can do more, so we do less.   But here’s the catch—AI will do more, and w...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kept / Wept / Slept

For a while now, I've been wearing house slippers that are way too big for me. Firsthand experiencing the dangers of seeking (and knowing) too much, and finding out, rudely, unceremoniously, curiosity can kill more than just the cat. While exciting to taste the fruity slurps of seemingly full-knowledge, the satisfying crunch of acknowledgement, like punching holes through a thick stack of warm copy paper, the thrill of cliff jumps can culminate into bum-first crashing into the deceptive deep. Nobody warns you. That the water is always shallower; swallowing life too fragile to keep. No one explains that the depth is a trick. That the more that you dig, the less it will stick. Hunger loud from the tum; buns left in the breadbasket: none. And thread count of those slightly expensive sheets? No reliable guarantee of sleep. Long story short, if worry is the thief of joy; self awareness is the enemy of miracles. And so the slippers go into that unopened shoe cupboard, unused, where their...
1 comment
Read more