Kamna's Blog

Call me a creature of habit, but I have this complacent, almost romantic idea about travelling the world. I indulge myself in consistent, predictable travel quite unlike a adventure junkie with eyes pouring with wanderlust. Two weeks ago though, I felt a change in this attitude when, ditching the usual Uber called 45 minutes in advance, I stepped out of my house and hitched a rickshaw ride to the airport. While the aircraft was taxiing the runway, my fingers refused to search for my take-off song ("Bed" by Jahzzar). Instead, I surprised myself by just listening to whatever the iPod god decided I should hear then. 15 days later I'm sat at the boarding gate for a flight that will take me home just overwhelmed and grateful for all I've had the opportunity to enjoy in the Land of the Rising Sun.  Harshita, my sister who lives in Australia, was my companion for this wonderful holiday and thanks to her diligent notekeeping, I've decided to do compile it all to...

There I said it - I have recklessly been wrecked Kimya Dawson said this when she heard about MJ dying: “Having been fucked is no excuse for being fucked up” So am I to drown in self-pity? No thanks When you splash water in your eyes, your eye socket is practically gargling your eyeballs I never understood people who splash water in their eyes And movies where you see people underwater with their eyes wide open My instinct tells me to close my eyes the second there’s a chance of water seeping in But I don’t understand the world and its people Nobody wants to take a godless decision and funnily, the god needn’t be God No one ever dies from lack of attention It’s better to fake being in love with a real person than admit to being enamoured by a Googlebot But sometimes it is nice for someone to crawl over you regularly Reading you, understanding what’s new Even if it’s so that they can go behind your back and tell the world about you You can’t hear someone else’s thoug...

I'd like a good night's sound sleep More than a night spent cruising the streets I'd like a long face to face conversation More than a short instant messaging chat session I'd like a lovely summer spend swimming in the sea More than a dull winter holed up in bed in front of the PC I'd like strong drink: some gin or maybe some wine? Why not passively lounge with no attention to time? Life has its own mind - it's neither yesterday nor tomorrow So I've decided to live in today - without any sorrow So find me a quaint cottage made for six Housing a quarreling old couple a dog can fix

The finality of death is in such stark contrast to the predictability of birth. Being a psychopath is better than having a psycho in your path S ipping from a juice box titled "Compliance" may give you the courage to step on stage But what if you fell in love with love? And when you fell in love it was to the sound of music that felt like love What if you understood both the value of meaning and the meaning of value? And what if you understood that love was meaning? Then living with meaning would mean living for love When are you really strong - w hen you're strong enough to show weakness? Or are you really strong when you show strength despite being weak? Meaning can be found in another things though Because love's not nearly enough for most people Love has a shelf life Love needs preservatives My heart is still mine And if I choose hope It's my choice You don't get to dictate how much and for how long I should care...

I can't believe my last post was 3 years ago. Anyway, here goes: If you don't build a dream, someone else will help you build theirs. The mind is not in the body. The body is in the mind. The extent of the love of women is not known, even to those who are the objects of their affection, on account of its subtlety, and on account of the avarice, and natural intelligence of womankind. Love is the world's infinite mutability; lies, hatred, murder even, are all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose smelling faintly of blood. A coward is more afraid of being discovered than he is of anything else, even dying. You have to learn to drive your own car before you call shotgun on someone else's You need to know that no one else's opinion can invalidate your own Once you cultivate the habit of being with yourself no body else's company will come close

I wrote this post as an answer to a very dear friend's request a couple of years ago. Nice to have a log of these kind of things. 1. Pugs/Dogs 2. Pirogi 3. Jigsaw puzzle 4. Oranges 5. Sleep 6. Knitting 7. Long walks 8. Singing 9. Listening to music 10. Dreams 11. Period dramas 12. Travelling - train, bus and plane 13. Chocolate 14. Tea 15. Love 16. Roller coasters 17. Long drives 18. Having a quiet conversation when it is quiet 19. Animated movies and cartoons 20. Playing with babies and infants 21. Taking photos 22. Painting my nails 23. Wearing eyeliner 24. Oiling my hair and tying two plaits 25. Looking through old things I have saved for memory safekeeping 26. Dancing with abandon 27. That energetic healthy feeling after working out at the gym 28. When my hair is played with 29. Way 'he' smiles at me 30. When I shower after sweating a lot in the heat and sun 31. New shampoo/soap/conditioner 32. Lip balms...

"Let me tell you a story." Everyday I would ask, "tell me something scary, I want to hear something that will freak me out. I want to get really messed up in the head. Tell me something scary." And everyday she would come and say, "let me tell you a story." And everyday it was the same story. And everyday I used to wonder, "there's nothing scary about this story. Why does she keep saying it the same way in the same delivery and tone and with the same pregnant pauses." Fear belongs to the unknown. It cannot be anticipated. It can't be measured. It can't be bound by a limited imagination. Fear knows how to take and take it does, very well. A morbid interest in dark unknowables Anxiety to keep the sheets warm but your feet cold Fear that's anticipated but always fucking underestimated Nightmares that put Alice to shame You would think it's the perfect recipe for insanity She will tell you all y...