Blooming 🌱

It’s predictably every January

The psychological shift mentally

That this year will be different

More resolve to achieve archived aspirations

I feel a new shift, different from Januaries past

This version of me is more frugal than ever

The indulgence mindset dissolving away

Every decision not wrought with impulse

Rather a cautiousness that what will come easy won't last

A peace, a serenity, acknowledgement that what lasts won’t come easy

Your share of the pie is reserved for only you to devour

But endure you must

The delays, the trials, the foreshadowing and signs of slowly unraveling dreams 

Faith, perseverance and positivity in your little colourful fanny pack

This is the path most exquisite

The learnings abundant

This is my dharma and I will not shortcut it

2-3-5

Say stop

For if uninterrupted

I may keep talking

"Listening intently

The coffee steaming

Your story must go on"

I'm done

Just about finished

You may go now, dear

"You're wonderful

So much endeavoured

Yet your feet stay grounded"

Thank you

Much too kind

Hope to see you later

If it's too cold to step in, how about don't?

Time to confess

About how big your courage is

Does it permeate into scary new waters?

Does it falter too, like mine?

Like leaning back against a settee that moves with your movement

Proving its unreliability and your misjudgement spontaneously

Like revealing secrets in the dark and realising with great shock it was just the black curtain before the keenly listening silent audience

Proving its fallacy and your foolish folly spontaneously

Momentarily Mountainous

“You’ll move mountains with that persistence”

Sure, assuming I persist consistently

Which is a big if

What if the mountain doesn’t want to be moved?

Its immobility is its strength.

It’s my mountain but everyone’s watching

They all want to know how I’ll overcome it.

But I ask of them

Show me your mountain too

Let me see it budge by you

Monkey see monkey do

Freewrite

Transcribed from paper.

Unused to writing with a pen. Well at least it’s a gel pen. Reminds me of 10th board exams. The blue gel. The familiar neat cursive as if it was a friend's rather than my own. The fact that it's an Add Gel and I loved the Cat version. I enjoyed the cab ride here, my first time in Aundh, in awe of this plush bungalow-flled part of Pune. I am trying not to hunch but it’s more comfortable when I do. Would probably be better to sit on the floor so I have back support but I don't want to distract everyone's writing by making sudden movements. I’m not supposed to stop writing but I do want to. I want to take in the interesting sights of this beautiful flat. The full floor is one flat. I want to close my eyes and listen to this calming music. It’s very background to your thoughts kind of music but it could also very well accompany me on solo cosy walks. I burnt my hand recklessly last weekend and I’m waiting to see how long it will be before it heals. Secretly, I want a scar, not for any reason except that I want the reminder to not be reckless like that again. It’s funny when you do stream of consciousness writing there are such random thoughts. I’m thinking of this beautiful quote that found me last night - "you’ve been assigned this mountain so they all can see how you’ll overcome it." Everyone’s mountain, if physically manifested and assimilated in one place, neck to neck, would be so vast that we would run out of square footage & would need to colonise oceans. Oceans have mountains already so we will have to stack ours on top till the ocean spills over into our habitable earth. At least whatever is left of what we've done of it.